21 03 2015

The little voice said…”It’s time to write a blog.”

The little voice has been trying to get my attention for quite a few months now. But there was a voice that was speaking louder. This big voice was saying that I didn’t have the time or the energy to write.

Well it is time to listen to the GOOD VOICE, the right voice…

It is time to write this creative expression of words. These words will paint the glorious and beautiful artwork of my heart and soul. This is how I know it is the GOOD VOICE.At this very moment my words are unplanned. The thoughts are flowing and I am using my fingers to put the thoughts and the feelings here for me to share.

The GOOD VOICE has won.

I find myself complete in this moment. Nothing is imperfect. I am perfect. I am loved. But the big voice is trying to talk me out of continuing. I stop and I doubt. I question and I judge. I can’t do this. I am stuck.

That little calm voice guides me back to my keyboard. My fingers flow once again. I find the letters to create this message…

God is LOVE and he is so in love with us. His voice is the one that gives us peace. His voice is the calm in the storm. The calm is quiet and still. We fight it. We prefer the craziness. We enjoy entertaining the big voice.Even the big voice has its place as does darkness.

We remember to close our eyes in the darkness. We remember as we close our eyes that the light will return in it’s right time. We have faith that when we close our eyes and allow the darkness…We will once again open them to the beauty of the morning sunrise. The calm little voice tells us this truth.

As a survivor with a history of severe clinical depression, my journey has revealed a healing truth and personal awareness. Depression is my darkness. Depression is my contrast that brings my life its amazing vividness. In my depression, I always find GOod VOICES.

Dreaming Big and Watching it Happen!

23 04 2013

I have been experiencing wonderful things as I stay fixed on the vision! I can’t express the overwhelming joy as I watch God’s plan unfolding in my life and in the lives of the people I love to serve.
I had a vision about 3 years ago…

It was actually pretty scary! I kept meeting people with BIG DREAMS, exciting goals and ambitions! As they shared their passions and goals for their future careers or jobs they would be expressed like this:

I want to get my class 1 Drivers License BUT I cant read well…
I want to be a hairdresser BUT I have been assessed with manual dexterity issues..
I want to be a daycare worker BUT people think I am not smart enough…
I want to take medical terminology BUT I was diagnosed with a learning disability…
I want to get a job BUT I have a social interacting disorder…
I want to be an electrician BUT this is too difficult for me! What did the school say is wrong with me?

It was very disappointing to see how society has been placing these “labels” on us and we aren’t even aware how they influence our decisions as we make plans for our careers.
I made it my mission to help these wonderful people challenge themselves and their negative belief systems. It has been so exciting watching people celebrate their successes as they ignore the “labels” and negativity.
Dreams do not come easily. they come with pain and trials along the way. They come with having to let go of good things to reach other levels of growth.
Dreams are BIG! They require a faith in something bigger than us! It takes risk! We need to keep connected with that awesome and powerful spirit within and around us to keep our sanity and peace of mind.
I had a dream to build Opening Doors to Success Incorporated. Its mission was to empower people to reach their career goals. I faced these voices of negativity and defeat:

I want to build the business BUT I am too old…
I want to quit my job to build the business BUT I cant do that!
I want to run my own organization BUT I am not a leader
I want to be an entrepreneur BUT that title is too big for me to handle?

The dream kept manifesting itself. It was a very confusing and exhausting few weeks for me as I dealt with depression and anxiety trying to suppress the nudge to move on. I was experiencing an even louder confusion:
I want to start my business BUT I have a perfect job.
I want to take the leap BUT I need to appreciate all that I have at this job!
I want to start my own organization BUT I would be giving up on this position.
I have a burning desire to lead a new initiative BUT what if its benefits are not recognized?

The dream was bigger than me! I didn’t know how to handle it! I had to either take the leap and move on or take pills to numb the feelings of confusion and depression. I chose option number one. :)

I am dreaming BIG and the confusion has left! It is a little scary. Taking each step and crossing each bridge they come up is the only sane way. It is very exciting as I am learning new skills and becoming the person I once never thought possible. Little ol’ me…an entrepreneur, a leader??
FOLLOW your dreams! They are BIGGER than you!

But oh how wonderful when we follow the nudge!! Life is full of awesome gifts, but how can they be revealed to us unless we take the chance of getting a paper cut as we open them!
Listen to those BIG DREAMS!

Cinderella had a BIG dream!
Elvis had a BIG Dream!
Benjamin Franklin had a BIG dream!
Mother Theresa had a BIG dream!
Martin Luther King had a BIG dream!

I have a BIG dream!
Do you have a BIG dream?
Are we listening? Once we decide it is possible…We are lead, one step at a time :)


The Undesired Gift

17 08 2012

There is a gift which so many of us have been given. I will try to describe it:

  • This gift is very seldom appreciated.
  • It is a gift which most of us choose not to keep. 
  • It is a gift which we fear to embrace.
  • It is a gift we often see as a punishment.
  • It is a gift we try to hide so no one else sees it.
  • It is a gift which we receive at any time of the season.
  • It is a gift which can seem too heavy to carry.
  • It is a gift which we are given when times are tough and we feel discouraged.
  • It is a gift which comes from an anonymous giver.
  • It is a gift which is wrapped in dark colored paper.
  • It is a gift we often exchange for something much less valuable or even damaging.

When we choose to accept this valuable yet unappreciated gift, we allow it to work wonders in our lives. But we need to change our perception of the gift. We need to see the beauty and benefits in it. This may be something totally new to us and to anyone else we may share it with.

If we accept this gift it may mean giving up the opportunity for something “better” or something “more”.

We need to think totally outside of the ” box” we have been given. When we decide to cherish and see the beauty in the gift, we may be giving up the chance of enjoying the other trade such as indulging in:

  • Unhealthy eating
  • Consuming alcohol
  • Gambling
  • Overworking
  • Facebook and computer games
  • Sex
  • Smoking
  • Drugs
  • Other unhealthy obsessions
  • Habits which are damaging to our core values
  • Self destructive lifestyles

If by now you are thinking this is really crazy then you are right. Embracing this gift is not something most of us would naturally do. This present is unique and different to each one of us. It is a reward to be explored and examined. It may even be called a legacy or an ability.

Some of the benefits I have relished in holding on to my gift are:

  • A keener sense of peace and serenity
  • Better health
  • A stronger sense of joy
  • An easier acceptance of reality
  • Closer to my truth
  • More appreciation of the “good times”
  • Compassion for others
  • Feeling the pleasure of the simple things that life has to offer
  • Enjoying each and every aspect the “GIFT of the PRESENT”.

This gift is something society may call a disease, a sickness or a problem. It is often given very descriptive labels.

This gift is what I call DEPRESSION. I am thankful for it and I see the value it has in my life. It is a gift from God which humbles me and teaches me so much about Him and about myself. Sometimes I reject it for an extra large hot fudge sundae with peanuts. Sometimes I neglect it and drop an extra $10 in the lottery terminal.

But I love when I embrace it and I see what it is revealing to me. The growth that is open to me as a human being is so beautifully cherished. The weight of it is lifted by the giver himself. God is there as I delight in my beautiful and cherished gift. He shows me its beauty and its benefits. I am learning that it is not worth trading for any other earthly present.














What About Trust?

18 01 2012

Trusting our loving creator allows us to trust others…

We take the risk of loving wholeheartedly when we know if we are eventually let down, we will only fall back into His loving arms. So what do we stand to lose? Loving others without expectation is such a rewarding act.

Loving without trusting causes a barrier to stand between us and others.

In fear of being let down we shut down.The other person doesn’t experience the full benefits of our love.

When we give love in the many ways we are able to express it we do get it back. It might not come from the person we are giving it to. Look around you. Is it coming from other people, other sources? The love we pour out will flow back to us!

Trust shouldn’t be something to be earned. Trust is an action. Trust is not a feeling. How do you truly know for sure someone will not let you down? We need to give them the benefit of the doubt. When we do this the person knows we are giving them our trust. Wow! What a gift. It is saying to them…You are worthy of my trust. What a powerful connection for a strong and lasting relationship.

But what if we give our everything to someone and they betray us?

We can handle it! The other sources of love are always available to us!

God takes our hand and picks us up once again!

We say to God … “I loved that person so much”. God responds… “You did the right thing. That’s what we were made to do.”

Love still flows from us and we are able to love once again.

Why not take the chance to love and trust fully? The rewards are well worth it.

It might not be an easy thing for us to do.We may have put up a guard for so long. We may have developed the negative habits of being cynical, suspicious, overly cautious, jealous, or clingy. We have used these methods to control others in fear of  betrayal or loss of that person.

Trusting opens doors to successful relationships.

When we are betrayed we have the most powerful source of love available to us immediately. Our creator knows we may need him in those moments and he never closes his door to us.

Love others like He loves us! It just feels GOoD!

Christmas Miracles

27 12 2011

I made three wishes. I believed even when I didn’t believe. God is coming through as always!

The biggest joy for me is watching God work things out in His way! Thinking “outside the box” is so key to realizing God’s miracles coming to life.

God’s wisdom is so much more complex than we could ever imagine, so how can we expect him to work things out or make our dreams come true the way we think He should.

When we allow God to do things in his timing and in his way, we allow ourselves the pleasure of seeing and experiencing the steps to get to where we desire. God knows us more than we know ourselves. He created us and has it all taken care of.

Trusting that the miracle is in the works allows it to happen. When we trust that our creator has it under control…we allow His plan to take action.

When we give up hope, we cease to take action and the miracle is paralyzed. Be calm…be still…be listening…

Christmas was a reminder to me that with God anything is possible…and when we leave it to Him and not allow doubt or worry to take a hold of us…

Wow…The Christmas miracles!!!


What about Friends?

2 12 2011

There are so many definitions of what a friend is. We receive them through our emails, through the special cards we receive, through poems and movies and the list goes on. The messages tell us things like:

True friends never let you down…

True friends are always there for you…

True friends always say the right thing…

True friends  never betray you…

True friends always  buy you special gifts…

True friends will do anything for you…

True friends know you inside out and know your every thought…


So what happens when our friends are “human”?

When they break a promise…

When they chose to be with someone else in need when you need them.

When they are having a rough day and they say the  wrong thing …

When they take a step into betrayal, not realizing the end result and are sorry for what they did…

When they don’t buy you “the right present”…

When they can’t do what you demand of them…

When they cant read your mind…

I don’t know about you but that’s pretty high expectations! I would hope that a friend wouldn’t expect all of this from me.  I am certain as I am human that  I am bound to let them down eventually at some time during our friendship.

There is no doubt that fairy tale moments exist between friends, but true friendships are where two people accept and forgive each others imperfections and failures.

True and forever friendships are the ones which say…

Its okay…

I forgive you…

I understand even though I don’t understand…


Being a friend is the best part of the friendship. The moment we expect, is the moment we are disappointed. Enjoy loving without any expectations. That’s what a friendship is…The opportunity to love…and the opportunity  to express forgiveness.

Believe in the Impossible

22 09 2011

The moment in which we believe… is the moment in which we accept it and it becomes our truth.

Believe in miracles!!

For with God…

All things are possible…

Is there something deep within your soul which you long for?

If it is in your thoughts, in your heart and is your desire…

Then it is worth pursuing and taking the chance for!!

Could that be God’s voice speaking to you??

God will not allow you to give up on his wonderful purposes for you…

His desires are for our ultimate peace and happiness!

But be careful and discern whether it is a temporary lust or a God approved desire.

This is the tricky part…

But again with God all things are possible and he will give you his wisdom…simply for the asking.

And be patient as he works it out for you!!!

Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day?

God’s beauty takes time to grow…

Enjoy watching your dream unfold…one baby step at a time!


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